Being Depressed and Burnt Out
I've always struggled with depression. It started as a kid when my mother passed away. I've never really had a good handle on it, even though I've been to therapy for many years and am being treated with medication. My depression is a wave cycle; certain times of year it is better than others. Sometimes certain years my depression is worse than previous years. The cycle length varies.
This past year, the cycle length has been quite long. Work in particular has been pretty heavy. I work as a frontline manager and part of that work is being emotionally open and available to my direct reports. Combine a high number of direct reports with my own pain disorder and existing mental health load and I'm logically not surprised I'm feeling the way I do.
When I'm struggling like this, I tend to let go of the, in my mind, "non critical" things in my life. Non-critical things in this case being my hobbies. So I've read less books in 2025 and 2026 than I have previously. I've practically given up writing fiction or essays. When I'm not working, I usually watch television or doomscroll on a social media app. Mindless things that don't really require me to be present and paying attention.
Over the last few days, I've found myself to be bored. I'm taking this as a sign that maybe I'm coming out of the depression and burn out a little bit. My brain is looking for something meatier to do than vegetate in front of a repetitive detective show.
So I'm rekindling my website. I'm going to try to write here more regularly about whatever topic grabs my attention that day/week. I'm hoping to keep up with it better than I have in the past. I've always found it hard to write a blog because, for a lot of reasons, I'm scared of putting my writing in public. Especially when it is my opinion or feelings. But I'm going to try.
Until next time 👋,
Tim